Week in Review: The Good, Bad & the Ugly

The Good. Deren has the new job. It promises some challenging work, and I'm praying it will be a good fit for him

The Good & the Bad. Rachael's notes home from school. You know to brace yourself when the teacher's notes start off saying "We've never seen this kind of behavior from Rachael before.." Apparently, Miss Rachael was starting to crack keeping up her role as leading lady in "The Many Faces of Eve", and her home/school personalities integrated a bit more. I responded to her teacher (who is terrific, by the way) that we see Rachael throw things A LOT at home (that's what she was doing at school that day). The next day there was a long note in Rachael's folder again. I thought "oh, boy.." Turns out, Rachael has a boy with cerebral palsy in her class. He was playing in the kitchen area, and Rachael made it a point to be his helper - she would bring him plates, utensils, cups, fake food.. The note said she was a really sweet friend that day.

I was thinking about this afterwards. I was so darn proud of that note. Having kids w/special needs forces you to tone down a lot. Especially with autism, you know play-groups, soccer, cub-scouts, Sunday school.. well let's face it, a trip to the grocery store without 3 days of prep are all out of the picture. Rachael did better than most of us this past week. She may not have a good concept of loving God with all her heart, mind and soul, but she sure nailed down loving her neighbor (Well, at least at school that day. By the time evening came she was throwing punches at home. Miss Eve still has some integrating to do!)

On Thursday Jaccob's in-home trainer jokingly told me that he is developing a reputation as a clepto. Everyday before coming home he grabs things from the classroom and sticks them in his backpack. They have to do a shake-down each afternoon to make sure he hasn't succeeded. Deren hadn't heard the story yet, and was frustrated that Jacob was attacking all the backpacks this morning. I told Deren to let Jacob search through the backpacks until he's convinced that no loot made it home.

Now for the Bad and the Ugly (the really ugly). Had Joshua's annual ARD meeting yesterday. The story has been the same - Joshua has been in the school district 2 yrs now, and has almost mastered one sign (movie), which he uses for everything. He'll be standing over a cup of juice and signing movie. I called his new teacher a couple weeks ago, and told her I was going into this meeting pretty upset with his lack of progress, that I wanted all the data and notes she had on Joshua so I could decipher if any progress had been made since 2004, and I wanted his 1 on 1 time increased and his 1 hr nap/watch a movie time eliminated. Dr. Bourland, a BCBA (board certified behavior analyst), attended the meeting with me. He's worked at the home with Joshua off and on since 2003. Anyway, get to the meeting and the teacher, the speech therapist, are saying "He's such a happy boy. He's doing wonderful! We're thrilled with his progress." Uhhh... what progress? I ask for data - ANY data - supporting their claim. The school principal starts griping at me at this point, saying I shouldn't have sprung the data question for the first time at the meeting. I look the teacher in the eye, then respond that I notified her a couple weeks ago about wanting data. "Oh" Whenever Dr. Bourland or I tried to get the teacher to clarify something, she took on the role of bumbling fool. Afterwards, Dr. B said he had never seen a teacher walk into an ARD meeting so unprepared. And in a school district that has (in the past, that is now apparent) prided itself on using ABA and collecting data.. things aren't looking good for Mr. Joshua. Dr. B and I agreed that it seems they are trying to move over to a TEACH style of classroom. For those not familiar w/TEACH, it's a classroom style, developed at the Univ of NC, that proposes an "eclectic" approach, and since it's so eclectic, you really can't pin down a particular methodology, or heaven forbid, try to evaluate the shifting methodologies. So a teacher using TEACH will look you right in the eye, tell you your child's doing great working 4-piece puzzles and vedging in front of a video all day, then say they can't collect data because their methods may shift the next day, depending on Joshua's needs (and I'm not making up this scenario - this is a good part of Joshua's day). I will refrain from typing profanities at this point.

Well, one thing I was able to pin the teacher down on was the Autism Supplement, a state-wide document that is 'supposed' to be followed by school districts. One big part of the supplement states that there should be no more than 15 mins of unstructured time/day. At this point in ARD meetings, teachers are supposed to submit their classroom schedules to prove this. Of course, that would have required some type of organization on her part, so once again, she sat there with a blank look on her face. I asked the diagnostician to clarify if it was 15 mins/day, and she affirmed. Then I looked at the teacher and said "how about that nap/video hour?" So thanks to mean old Mrs. Ebdon the nap/video fest may need to shortended. Let's face it, though, at this point I'm thinking she may type up a new schedule and continue as it's been.

In finishing, the district's autism consultant is supposed to be in town Nov 8th. I've requested written summaries of the classroom environment and of Joshua's progress from him, and requested a meeting with him (this last may/not be honored). The teacher is supposed to supply all data within 8 wks (instead of 4 because I don't want to be at an ARD meeting with a 1 week old baby). And I have until then to find myself someone who has experience with court mediation, 'cause it's looking like we may be headed that way.

On a funny note, at the end of the meeting the minutes were read. I'll get a paper copy next week. It was good reading. Apparently Miss Rachael (aka many faces of Eve girl) is a chip off the unstable mother block. The minutes start off reading "Joshua has been doing very well at school.. He's a happy boy".. yada yada yada. Then, the tone turns black.. "But Mother (that's how it refers to me) doesn't believe this, and is demanding that the teacher go out of her way to submit data.." yada yada yada. At the time, I wanted to pounce over and strangle the recorder. But after having a (half) night's sleep I'm finding it pretty darn funny. Dr. B said that there was no way I was going to get away in a favorable light. All my requests were in the minutes - that's what I cared about.

So if you could please pray for our plight with Joshua, I would appreciate it. I was so depressed, so discouraged last night. But I have our God with me, and he knows my troubles.

Oh, and one final baby/family note. Deren was summoned for Jury Duty 3 days after my due date! Deren called and rescheduled for next week. I had to cancel my OB appt on Monday. The kids are off school Mon & Tues, and there's NO WAY I'm taking all them. Sometimes I get out of there in an hour, sometimes, with the wait, it's a couple hours - forget it. The OB already cancelled my appt for this past week because she wanted to take a vacation. They called and rescheduled me yet a 2nd time for later in the morning on the 9th. Then I called yesterday and said I can't make that time b/c of Deren's jury duty. The nurse, in a snit, told me I won't be seen next week because they are too busy to fit me in. Sooo... I guess we'll see if I have another dr's appt before the birth, seeing as how my next appt is at 39 weeks, and my last one was at 36 weeks. Beyond praying about it, I don't think I'm going to bother with anything else. So please pray that the baby is okay until my delivery!