Rachael had her evaluation with the school district this morning. She scored w/speech and cognitive delays, and they recommended PPCD (public preschool for children w/disabilities) placement. She will go to a school that is about 20 mins away, Mon-Fri from 8-11. To be honest, I'm upset. I remember crying and crying about sending Jacob to all-day school when he was 3, thinking about how little he was. But I was ready for Joshua. I knew what to expect, Joshua was in the process of systematically destroying the house. I was upset because they recommended 8-11 for Joshua. I was at the ARD meeting griping "he needs to be in school all day!" To put this in context, so everyone reading doesn't think I'm Attila the Hun, let me explain that the experts in the field of early autism treatment recommend extensive hours of therapy each week. Less than 3 hrs/day for Joshua was really ridiculous for his needs. And last year proved it. He lost most the skills he had gained at home, before starting PPCD. Today I was sitting there thinking how much more advanced Rachael is than Joshua, and how they justified warehousing him PPCD for a year..

My pride has also taken a big clip today. I was convinced that Rachael would be our first one not needing special services. I called Deren and told him about the evaluation. He sounded bummed on the phone, too. But on the positive side - Rachael will be going to a classroom that will focus entirely on her deficits, with trained teachers. And I'm kind of thinking this is her chance to catch up with other kids her age before kindergarten. I know one thing I won't do is send her to a kindergarten class where she will be ignored by a teacher who is too busy to help out Rachael, and be picked on by all the other kids. Can you say "homeschool?"

But back to sending Rachael off to school 5 days/week. She seems so little still, and I am having a hard time picturing mornings without her. I'm just feeling sorry for myself today, ya'll! Having been up since 4:30 might have a part in it. We have been passing around a cold/flu bug that hangs out in your chest. I am so finished with coughing up nasty stuff. Rachael has been running a low-grade fever off and on since yesterday, and is lethargic. I'm hoping Deren can come home and watch the kiddos so I can take her to the doctor later this afternoon. There's no way I'm going out with all 4 and little sleep!

In closing, I've been repeating Psalm 94:19 to myself since yesterday evening: "In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul."